You'll love these jokes!

I know a few guys who always get together on Fridays after work. One
Friday, Dave showed up particularly late, sat down at the bar, and
kicked back his entire first beer in one gulp. Then he turned and said,
"Times they are getting tough. I mean, just today, my wife told me that
she's going to cut me back to only two times a week! I can't believe
it."At which point Bob put his hand on Dave's shoulder and said
reassuringly, "You think you've got it bad, there's some guys that she's
cut out all together."

A women on her deathbed called her husband and instructed him to look
under their bed and open the wooden box he found. He was puzzled by the
3 eggs and $7,000 in cash he found in the box, so he asked his wife what
the eggs were for. "Oh those", she replied, "every time we had bad sex,
I put an egg in the box".Not bad, the husband thought to himself, after
35 years of marriage, then he asked, "But what about the $7,000?" "Oh
that", she replied, "every time I got a dozen I sold them."