You might be a teacher if...

(As an ex-chalkie, I love this -- BB)
You believe the staff room should have a Valium salt lick.

You find humour is other people's stupidity.

You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to have all your
holidays and summers free.

You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.

You believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on the report card.

You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the
kids are sure mellow today."

When out in public, you feel the urge to talk to strange children and
correct their behavior.

Marking all A's on the report card would make your life SOOO much simpler.

When you mention "vegetables" and you're not talking about a food group.

You think people should be required to get a government permit before being
allowed to reproduce.

You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.

You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.

You really encourage an obnoxious parent to check into home schooling.

You've never had your profession slammed by someone who would NEVER DREAM of
doing your job.

You can't have children of your own, because there is NO name you could give
a child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it.

Meeting a child's parents INSTANTLY answers the question, "Why is this kid
like this?"