Top Ten Reasons Canada Keeps Beating Us in the World Series

10. French baseball chatter very disorienting
9. U.S. players get sleepy standing through two national anthems.
8. Special enzyme in Canadian bacon that turns players into game-winning
zombies
7. American teams discouraged by Clinton's new RBI tax
6. All our secret plays are being funneled to them by that weasel Paul
Shaffer.
5. Exchange rate makes Canadian runs worth more.
4. Stirring pre-game talks, which always end with "win one for Lorne
Greene".
3. They don't bother to use actual Canadians.
2. Let's face it--we're a bunch of "Hosers."
1. Those silly mountie umpires