Golf Lessons From A Pro

A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are
playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons.

The husband has his lesson first.

After the pro sees his swing, he says, "No, no, no, you're gripping
the  club way too hard!"

"Well, what should I do?" asks the man.

"Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your
wife's breast."

The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and WOW! He hits the ball 250
yds. straight up the fairway.

The man goes back to his wife with the good news, and the wife can't
wait for her lesson.

The next day the wife goes for her lesson. The pro watches her swing
and says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard."

"What can I do?" asks the wife.

"Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husband's penis.

"The wife listens carefully to the pro's advice, takes a swing, and
THUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway . . . about 15 ft.

"That was great," the pro says. "Now, take the club out of your mouth
and swing the club like you're supposed to!" says the pro.