ethel

Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loves to charge around the
nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on
the long corridors. Because the poor dear is several sandwiches short of a
picnic, the other residents tolerate her eccentric behaviour, and some of
them even join in the fun.

One day Ethe is speeding along one of the corridors when a man steps out of
one of the doorways with his arm outstretched: "Stop!" he says firmly, "Have
you got a licence for that thing?"

Ethel fishes around in her handbag and pulls out a Kit-Kat wrapper, which
she hands to him with a big smile. "OK," he says, and off she goes again.

Taking the corner by the TV lounge on one wheel as usual, she finds another
man standing in the corridor in front of her. "Stop! Have you got a valid
tax disc for that vehicle, madam?"

Ethel digs into her handbag again and comes up with a well-used beermat,
which she presents for inspection, whereupon she is sent on her way once
more.

Heading down the last corridor before the front door, a third man steps out
in front of her. He is stark naked, and holding a sizeable erection in one
hand.

"Oh no," cries Ethel, "Not the breathalyser again!"