COMPUTER DOCTOR :)

One day, Pete complained to his friend Woody, "Man! My elbow really
hurts. I guess I should go see a doctor."

Woody said, "Don't do that! "There's a computer at the corner drug
store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply
put
in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem
and tell you what you can do about it and it only cost 10 bucks."
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with his urine
sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started making some noise and
various lights started to flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small
slip of paper
which read:

YOU HAVE TENNIS ELBOW. SOAK YOUR ARM IN WARM WATER. AVOID HEAVY
LABOR.

IT WILL BE BETTER IN TWO WEEKS.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how
it would
change medical science forever, Pete began to wonder if this computer
could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter. To top
it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the computer. Giggling like a
giddy teenager, he poured in the sample and deposited 10 bucks. The machine
again made the usual noises and printed out the following anaylsis:

YOUR TAP WATER IS TOO HARD. GET A WATER SOFTENER.

YOUR DOG HAS RINGWORMS. BATHE HIM WITH ANTI-FUNGAL SHAMPOO.
YOUR DAUGHTER IS USING COCAINE. PUT HER IN A REHABILITATION CLINIC.
YOUR WIFE IS PREGNANT WITH TWIN GIRLS. THEY AREN'T YOURS. GET A
LAWYER.

AND IF YOU DON'T STOP JERKING OFF, YOUR TENNIS ELBOW WILL NEVER GET
BETTER!