coke

I've always ordered beverages one simple way: "A Coke, please." Lately,
though, this hasn't seemed to work. Waitresses now often respond, "I'm
sorry, we don't have Coke. We have Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Mr. Pibb."

Tired of listening to the long list of soft drinks, I thought I'd make life
easier. So one day I simply asked the snackbar clerk at a movie theater for
a "dark, carbonated beverage."

The young man behind the counter chuckled and asked, "Ma'am, would you like
a cylindrical plastic sucking device with that?"

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The Pharoah was dictating, and his scribe was busily chipping away at the
stone tablet. "I have plans . . . to form," the monarch said slowly, "a
personal bodyguard . . . of stalwart . . and virile . . . young men."

The chips flew, but then suddently ceased flying, and the perspiring
chiseler looked up inquiringly, "Excuse me, your Majesty, but is "virile"
spelled with one or two testicles?"