Chinese torture....

One day a tired traveller arrives at an old house in the middle of a forest.
He has not eaten or drunk for several days. The traveller approaches the door
and knocks twice. After a short while a small ugly old man opens the
door."What do you want?" the old man asked. "A meal and a room for the night
if you can spare it." The traveller replied. The old man thought for a while
before replying. "Only if you promise not to shag my grand daughter. If you
do you will suffer the three worst chinese tortures." The traveller agreed to
this as the old man was so ugly any relations to him were obviously going to
be ugly as well. Later in the evening after the traveller had washed he came
down to have dinner. Sitting on the opposite side of the table was the old
man's granddaughter. She was a bit of alright and all evening the traveller
and the old mans grand daughter stared at each other until the traveller
decided to go to bed. In the middle of the night the traveller sneaked into
the grand daughters room and made mad love to her, and then went back to bed.
The next morning when the traveller awoke he found a 30lb boulder on his
chest with a note attatched. The note read, "Chinese torture no. 1" The
traveller thought to himself that this was a pathetic torture and threw the
boulder out of the window. As he did so he noticed a piece of string trailing
the boulder. Next to the window was another note. This time it read "Chinese
torture no.2 Left testicle tied to boulder." The traveller quickly jumped out
of the window to stop any lasting damage which may be caused when he noticed
yet another note attatched to his clothes. This time it read. "Chinese
torture no.3. Right testicle tied to bedpost."