Bird Seed

A man goes into a pet shop. He goes up to the counter and asks the woman
behind the counter "I want a bird that can talk."
(Which is unusual, as he normally only looks for birds that cook and shag,
and definitely don't talk! But I digress...)
The woman behind counter acknowledges him. "Certainly sir, we have this
Parrot that just came in yesterday."
"Does he talk then?"
"Oh, yes sir. He's a very talkative bird, hasn't stopped since he got
here."
"Great", said the man "in that case I'll take him."
So he paid the woman and took the bird home. The following week, the woman
was just finishing with a customer when the man came in again. "That bird
you
sold me last week hasn't said a word since I got him."
"Oh," said the woman "that's unusual. Did you get him a mirror?"
"Well, no."
"Ah, well that will be it then. Get him a mirror, he'll look at himself in
it,
and then maybe he'll say something. They're only five pounds"
"Okay then" said the man, and purchased the mirror.
The following week the man returned again. "That parrot still hasn't said
anything."
"Did you buy him a mirror?"
"Yes."
"What about a ladder?"
"Err, no."
"Ah well, you'll want to get him a ladder. He'll look at himself in the
mirror, run
up and down the ladder, and then maybe he'll say something."
"How much are the ladders then?"
"five pounds"
"Well, if you think so." The man purchased the ladder and went home.
Another week passed, and the man returned to the pet shop. "I've had that
parrot 3
weeks, and I still haven't got that him to say a word."
"Strange. Did you get him a mirror?"
"Yes."
"And a ladder?"
"Yes."
"What about a bell?"
"A bell?"
"Yes, he'll look at himself in the mirror, run up and down the ladder, ding
the bell,
then maybe he'll say something."
"I don't know about this, I've spent a fiver on the mirror and another
fiver on the
ladder."
"Well the bell's five pounds again, but I'm sure he'll say something this
time."
"Alright then" said the man begrudgingly, paid another fiver for the bell,
and went
home.
A week later the man was back in the pet shop again. "Here, that bird you
sold me is
dead, and after I bought him a mirror, a ladder and a bell."
"Well that's odd. They usually survive a lot longer than that. Tell me, did
he say
anything before he went?"
"Well, yes he did. He said something just before he passed away?"
"Really, what was that?"
"Bird seed."