Winning The Super Bowl

Jimmy Johnson has put together the perfect Dolphins team for '98.  The
only thing he's missing is a good quarterback to replace the injured
Dan
Marino.
He has scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but; can't
seem to find a ringer quarterback that will ensure a Super Bowl win.


Then one night, while watching CNN, he sees a war zone in Palestine.
In
the background, out of the corner of his eye, he spots a young Israeli
soldier with a truly incredible arm.  First, he throws a hand grenade
straight
into a 15th story window over 200 yards away -- ka-BOOM!


Next, he throws another hand grenade into a group of about 10 soldiers
a
good 110 yards away -- ka-BLOOEY!


Then, a car passes going 90 miles an hour-bulls-eye!  Another grenade
right into the barely open window.


"I've got to get this guy," Jimmy says to himself.  "He has the
perfect
arm!"


So he brings him to the states and teaches him the great game of
football.
Predictably, the young man breaks all NFL records for completed
passes,
accuracy, and touchdowns.  The Dolphins go on to handily win the Super
Bowl.


The young Israeli is lionized as the Great Hero of Super Bowl XXXV and
when Jimmy asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is
call
his mother. Jimmy arranges for the call and hands the phone to his
young
quarterback:  "Mom," the young man says into the receiver, "I just won
the Super Bowl!"


"I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says.  "You deserted us.
You're no longer my son."


"I don't think you understand, mother," the young man pleads.  "I just
won the greatest sporting event in the world!  I'm in the middle of
thousands of adoring fans."


"No, let ME tell YOU," the mother implores.  "At this very moment,
there
are gun shots all around us.  The neighborhood is a pile of rubble.
Your
two brothers were beaten within an inch of their life last week, and
this
week your sister was attacked in broad daylight...."  The old lady
pauses,
in tears. "...I'll never forgive you for moving us to Miami.