Window 98 recall

   It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Alabama
   edition of windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside
   Alabama.
   If you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help
   understanding the commands. The Alabama edition may be recognized
   by looking at the opening screen.
   It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of the General Lee
   super imposed on a Confederate flag.
   It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.
   Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is
   called This Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking is called Good
   Ol' Boys,
   Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard,  Hard Drive is
   referred to as 4 wheel drive, and floppies are them little ole
plactic
   disc  thangs.
   Other features:
   Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a
   garbage bag and duct tape.
   OK =          ats aww-right
   cancel =      hail no
   reset =       awa shoot
   yes =         shore
   no =          Naaaa
   find =        hunt-fer it
   go to =       over yonder
   back =        back yonder
   help =        hep me out here
   stop =        ternit off
   start =       crank it up
   settings =    sittins
   programs =    stuff at does stuff
   documents =   stuff I done done
   Also note that winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or
   punctuation marks.

   Some programs that are exclusive to winders 98
   tiperiter...........A word processor
   colering book.......a graphics program
   addin mershene......calculator
   outhouse paper .....notepad
   jupe-box ...........CD Player
   iner-net............Microsoft Explorer
   pichers.............A graphics viewer
   IRS.................M/S accounting software
   IRS2................M/S accounting software with hidden files
   coon dog............American kennel club records
   fishin..............Bass Anglers Sportsman Society records.
   NRA.................National  Rifle Association
   shot gun ...........Remington Arms price list
   riffel..............Winchester price list
   pisstel.............Smith & Wesson price list
   truck...............Ford &Chevrolet dealers in AL by zip code
   house...............Nearest Mobile home repair service by zip code
   car ................same as truck just need two list in Alabama
   cuzzins.............family history usually a 3 meg file
   tax records.........usually an empty file
   shells..............ammunition inventory another 3 meg file
   bud.................list of Budweiser dealers by zip  code
   rasin...............NASCAR racing schedule  includes list of TV

    stations  that carry the race
   car n truck Parts...nearest Junk yard by zip code
   doc ................veterinarians  by zip code
   We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you
   received a copy of the Alabama edition.  You may return it to
Microsoft
for a replacement version.