One Nation

The Real One Nation Membership Application

Name:
(  ) Billy-Bob
(  ) Billy-Joe
(  ) Billy-Ray
(  ) Billy-Sue
(  ) Billy-Mae
(  ) Billy-Polly
(Check appropriate box)

Age: . . . . . .
Sex:. . . . M. . . . F . . . . N/A
Shoe Size:. . . . Left. . . . .Right

Occupation:
(  ) Farmer
(  ) Mechanic/Taxi Driver
(  ) Fish and Chip Shop Owner
(  ) Skinhead

Spouses Name:. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Relationship with spouse:
(  ) Sister (  ) Brother
(  ) Aunt (  ) Uncle
(  ) Cousin (  ) Mother
(  ) Father (  ) Son
(  ) Daughter (  ) Pet

Number of children living in household:. . . . .
Number that are yours:. . . . .

Father's name:. . . . . . . . .(if not sure, leave blank)
Mother's name:. . . . . . . . (If not sure, leave blank)
Your name:. . . . . . . . . . . (If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (circle highest grade attended)

Do you (  ) own or (  ) rent your caravan? (Check appropriate box)
(  ) Total number of vehicles you own
(  ) Number of vehicles that still crank
(  ) Number of vehicles in front yard
(  ) Number of vehicles in back yard
(  ) Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Model and year of your ute: . . . . . . . . . 195_

Firearms and where you keep them:
(  ) Truck
(  ) Shed
(  ) Bedroom
(  ) Bathroom
(  ) Kitchen

Do you have a gun rack? (  ) Yes  (  ) No: please explain: . . . . . . .
.. . .
.. .

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(  ) The Truth (  ) Soldier of fortune
(  ) TV Guide (  ) Soap Opera Digest
(  ) Rifle and Shotgun

Number of times you've seen a UFO (  )

Number of times you've seen Elvis    (  )

Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO (  )

How often do you bathe:
(  ) Weekly
(  ) Monthly
(  ) Not applicable

Colour of teeth:
(  ) Yellow (  ) Brownish-yellow
(  ) Brown (  ) Black (  )  Not applicable

How far is your home from a paved road?
(  ) 1 kilometre
(  ) 1 mile
(  ) don't know

Type of dog you own:
(  ) Rottweiler/Alsation/Rhodesian Ridgeback
(  ) Dingo/Bull Terrier)
(  ) None - shot the last one last week.



Pauline Hanson is visiting a school. In one class, she asks the
students if anyone can give her an example of a "tragedy".
One little boy stands up and offers that "If my best friend who lives
next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed
him, that would be a tragedy."
No," Hanson says, "That would be an ACCIDENT." A girl raises her
hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff,
killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Hanson.
"That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer. "What?"   
asks Hanson, "Isn't there any one here who can give me an example
of a tragedy?"
Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he   
says: "If an air plane carrying Pauline Hanson and the One Nation
Party were
blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a tragedy." "Wonderful!" Hanson
beams.
"Marvellous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"   
"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it
  certainly would be no great loss. 
  
  
  
   One day, Pauline Hanson is being chauffeured to a One Nation rally
   in the Queensland outback, when her driver swerves to avoid a pot
   hole and hits a cow on the side of the road, killing it instantly.
   When they arrive at their desination, Pauline suggests to the driver
   that he should go back to the farm house and apologise for the
   accident
   and offer to pay for the damages.

   Three hours later, the driver returns, with all his clothes torn,
   holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cuban cigar in the other,
   and swaying left to right as he walked.

   Pauline asks the driver "What happened?"

   "Well, the farmer gave me this bottle, his wife gave me this cigar,
   and his beautiful 19 year old daughter made passionate love to me!"

   "Bloody hell - what did you tell them?"

   "I said, Hi, I'm Pauline Hanson's driver and I just killed the
   cow"