Learn To Speak Chinese  &  Confucious Say

  ~¿~  LEARN TO SPEAK CHINESE... ~¿~

Ai Bang Mai Ne   ~~  I bumped into the coffee table
Ar U Wun Tu      ~~  A gay liberation greeting
Chin Tu Fat      ~~  You need a face lift
Dum Gai          ~~  A stupid person
Gun Pao Der      ~~  An ancient Chinese invention
Hu Flung Dung    ~~  Which one of you fertilized the field?
Hu Yu Hai Ding   ~~  We have reason to believe you are harboring a
fugitive
Jan Ne Ka Sun    ~~  A former late night talk show host
Kum Hia          ~~  Approach me
Lao Ze Sho       ~~  Gilligan's Island
Lao Zi           ~~  Not very good
Lin Ching        ~~  An illegal execution
Moon Lan Ding    ~~  A great achievement of the American space program
Ne Ahn           ~~  A lighting fixture used in advertising signs
Shai Gai         ~~  A bashful person
Tai Ne Bae Be    ~~  A premature infant
Tai Ne Po Ne     ~~  A small horse
Ten Ding Ba      ~~  Serving drinks to people
Wan Bum Lung     ~~  A person with T.B.
Yu Mai Te Tan    ~~  Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you
Wa Shing Kah     ~~  Cleaning an automobile
Wai So Dim       ~~  Are you trying to save electricity?
Wai Yu Shao Ting ~~  There is no reason to raise your voice
Si-Ling Fan      ~~  A device to keep you cool
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Confucius say:
1.Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to
be shiftless bastard.
2.Man who lay girl on hill not on level.
3.He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.
4.Wife who put man in dog house find him in cat house.
5.Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
6.Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solutionin hand.
7.Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
8.Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
9.Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
10.Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
11.Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
12.Seven days on honeymoon make one hole weak.
13.Modern house without toilet uncanny.
14.Woman who springs on inner-spring this spring, gets off-spring next
spring.
15.Nail on board is not good as screw on bench.
16.Man who have hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
17.Short man who dance with tall woman get bust in mouth.
18.Man who lay woman on ground has peace on earth.
19.Man who sleep on railroad tracks wake up with split personality.
20.Baseball very strange game. How can man with 4 balls walk?
21.Woman who go to man's apartment for snack may get tit bit.
22.Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.
23.Woman who spends much time on bedspring, may have offspring.
24.Passionate kiss like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.
25.Man and mouse alike, both end up in pussy.
26.Man who get kicked in testicles left holding bag.
27.Man who sucks nipples make clean breast of things.
28.Man who fights with wife all day, gets no peace at night.
29.Man who snatches kisses when young, kisses snatches when old.
30.Wife who slides down banister makes monkey shine.
31.Virginity like balloon, one prick and it is all gone.
32.Girl who douches with vinegar walk around with sour puss.
33.Girls should not marry basketball players, they dribble before they
shoot.
34.Woman who flies upside-down have crack up.
35.He who sneezes without a handkerchief takes matters into his own hands.
36.Man who have head up ass, have shitty outlook on life.
37.Man who have hand in pocket not just jingling change.
38.A streaker is someone who is unsuited for his work.
39.He who make oral love to epileptic woman may get tongue-tied.
40.He who make love to exhaust pipe of car have hot rod.
41.Epileptic woman who give blow-job may bite big one.



CONFUSCIOUS  SAY

"Passionate kiss like spider's web - soon lead to undoing of fly."
"Virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone!"
"Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ."
"Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok."
"Man with one chopstick go hungry."
"Man trapped in whore house get jerked around."
"Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails."
"Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk!"
"Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it."
"Woman who wear G-string, high on crack!"
"Man who sleep with dog, Wake up with fleas"
"War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left."
"Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house."
"Man who sleep in cathouse by day, sleep in doghouse by night."
"Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night!"
"If you park, don't drink, accidents cause people."
"It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it."
"Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!"
"Man who sit on tack get point!"
"Man who make love to kitten, has little pussy"
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!"
"Man who lives in glass house should change in basement"
"Boy who go to bed with sexual problem wake up with problem in hand"
"People who make Confucius joke speak bad English."
"He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs."