Things We Learn From Our Children <...or other peoples children>
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1. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing pound puppy
underwear and a superman cape.
2. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four
walls of a 20-by-20-foot room.
3. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's
already too late.
4. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
5. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though
a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
6. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball
shoes it does not leak - it explodes.
7. A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000
square-foot house four inches deep.
8. Legos WILL pass through the digestive tract of a
four-year-old.
9. Super glue is forever.
10. McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
11. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you
still can't walk on water.
12. Pool filters were not designed for Jell-O.
13. VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.
14. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
15. The fire department has at least a three-minute response
time.
16. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth
worms dizzy.
17. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
18. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.