Cat Jokes

A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for
help.  The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put
his dog down on the examination table.  The vent examines the still,
limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog is dead.

The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a
second opinion.  The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a
cat and puts the cat down next to the dogs body.  The cat sniffs the
body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog's body and
finally looks at the vet and meows.  The vet looks at the man and
says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks your dog is dead too."

The man, finally resigned to the fate of his dog, thanks the vet and
asks how much he owes.  The vet answer, "$350."

$350 to tell me my dog is dead?!" exclaims the man.

"Well," the vet replies, "I would have only charged you $50 for my
initial diagnosis.  The additional $300 was for the cat scan."

Ten Signs Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password

10. E-Mail flames from some guy named "Fluffy."
9. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.
8. You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like
<<alt.recreational.catnap>>.
7. Your web browser has a new home page:
<http://www.feline.com/>.
6. Your mouse has teeth marks in it ... and a strange aroma of tuna.
5. Hate-mail messages to Apple Computer Corp. about their release of
"CyberDog."
4. Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it.
3. You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and
WarCat II.
2. On IRC you're known as the IronMouser.
and the #1 sign your cat has learned your internet password...

1. Little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post!