Air Travel

The following are actual stories told by travel agents (and you wonder
why US citizens generally score less than the rest of the world on
geography)...


I had someone who wanted to stay at the Bob Newhart Inn in
Connecticut. When I explained that the inn was fictional, the customer
became very irate and insisted "I know it is real, I see people check
in every week!"


Also, I really did have someone ask for an aisle seat so that their
hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.


A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going
over all the cost info, she asked, "would it be cheaper to fly to
California and then take the train to Hawaii?"


I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to
explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she
interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like
the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts,
Capetown is in Africa." her response....click.


A secretary called in looking for a hotel in Los Angles. She gave me
various names off a list, none of which I could find. I finally had
her fax me the list. To my surprise, it was a list of hotels in New
Orleans, Louisiana. She thought the LA stood for Los Angles, and that
New Orleans was a suburb of L.A. Worst of all, when I called her back,
she was not even embarrassed.


A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was
wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an
ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since
Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I
looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."


I got a call from a man who asked, "is it possible to see  England
from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "but they look so close on the
map."
Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I
pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay- over in
Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I
heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the
gates to save time."


A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that
her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am.
I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but
she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her
the plane went very fast, and she bought that!


A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description
on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No,
why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the
airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm
overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a
minute while I "looked into it" ( I was actually laughing) I came back
and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline
was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.


I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which
plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he
replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn
planes have numbers on them."


A woman called and said, " I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those
computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a
commuter plane. She said, "Yea, whatever."


A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed
in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports,
I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China
many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked, and
sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said,
"Look, I've been to China 4 times and every time they have accepted my
American Express."


A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to
Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally,
the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what
flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching,the
agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport
code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The
customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and
finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew
it was a big animal!"