Proud Farmer

There once was a very proud, caring farmer called Howard. He loved all his
animals but especially his cows. Every night he went to the field in which
they were grazing and called each of his cows in by their name and patted
each one the head and lead them into the barn.

The barn was the Buckingham palace of barns. There where heaters hanging from
the ceiling and on the walls, even a soft layer of carpet on the ground, this
in turn was covered with a clean crisp layer of straw. The drinking troughs
were spotlessly clean stainless steel and the hay for them to munch on was of
the finest quality and was as fresh as it could be.

A local man questioned Howard :- Why do you take such care with your cows?
Howard answered "These are special cows and if they are not kept above 5¡c
they stop producing milk and if the temperature falls below 3¡c they will
most certainly die !" The man then replied "Well I was just watching the
local weather and they said it would be -5¡c tonight." Howard said "Thanks"
and went to double check the heaters in the barn.

Howard now satisfied that the heaters were working as they should, went home
to go to bed. When he awoke next morning. The ground was quite frosty. So he
dressed and went to see if his precious cows were OK. When he got to the barn
he found to his horror that the heaters had ran out of fuel overnight .and
had subsequently failed. He ran into the barn to see his cows.

He ran up to the first cow he saw, he gasped as it was frozen solid. He ran
towards the next cow. He screamed out "No!" as he touched it as it was also
frozen solid. He inspected all the cows in the barn in a similar fashion and
he found they were all frozen solid. Howard sat sobbing on the floor of the
barn, fed up with life and so decided to go to the local boozer to get
absolutely hammered to try and forget his problem.

He got to the pub ordered a pint of beer and a double whiskey. He gulped both
beverages down and demanded that the barman pored the same again. He then
gulped both beverages down again. The barman noticed this and asked what his
problem was. Then Howard told the barman about the fiasco of the cows getting
frozen solid. "Is that all" the barmen replied. Here taken this phone number
( the barman scribbled down a number) call it and explain your situation,
then your problem will be solved.

Howard could not believe this so he hurried home and called the number
immediately. He explained the situation to the voice at the end of the phone.
She said "Give me the address of the farm and I'll be right over." Howard
then rushed up to the farm to meet this mysterious women. Sure enough 10
minutes later a black Mercedes, drew up and an oldish women stepped out.
"Which way is the barn?" she enquired Howard pointed out the barn and
followed her thinking, I've seen this women somewhere before. When they got
to the barn, she told him to stand back. She walked up to the first cow and
waved her arms in a smooth, fluid like motion over the cow and miraculously
the cow came back to life, stood up and started munching the hay. Howard
stood there in total amazement, rubbing his eyes. The women walked up to
another cow and again waves her arms over it, It also came back to life,
stood up and started munching the hay. The women progressively went around
the whole barn reviving all the cows. When she had finished, Howard ran over
to her thanking her for saving his precious cows and for saving his
livelihood. Howard then says to the women "Have I seen you before, you seem
very familiar to me" "Possibly" the women replied "I've been on T.V." "Of
course" Howard replied "Your Thora Herd"