The Great Philosophers

I gaze at the brilliant full moon.

The same one, I think to myself, at which Socrates, Aristotle, and
Plato gazed.

Suddenly, I imagine they appear beside me.

I tell Socrates about the national debate over one's right to die and
wonder at the constancy of the human condition.
I tell Plato that I live in the country that has come the closest to
Utopia, and I show him a copy of the Constitution and the Bill of
Rights.

I tell Aristotle that we have found many more than four basic elements
and I show him a periodic table.

I get a box of kitchen matches and strike one. They gasp with wonder
and we spend the rest of the night lighting farts.