Space Aliens

I have it on authority that this will be in the next DSMV.  I think many of
you will find it enlightening, especially after all the debate about
Asperger's vs autism vs PDD ~ W in D

From the National Enquirer (August, 1984):

    Your Co-worker Could Be a Space Alien, Say Experts
             ... Here's How You Can Tell

               By Michael Cassels

       Many Americans work side by side with space aliens who look
human -- but you can spot these visitors by looking for certain tip-offs,
say experts.
       They listed 10 signs to watch for:
       1. Odd or mismatched clothes.
       ``Often space aliens don't fully understand the different styles,
so they wear combinations that are in bad taste, such as checked pants
with a striped shirt or a tuxedo jacket with blue jeans or sneakers,''
noted Brad Steiger, a renowned UFO investigator and author.
       2. Strange diet or unusual eating habits.   Space aliens might
eat French fries with a spoon or gobble down large amounts of pills,
the experts say.
       3. Bizarre sense of humor.   Space aliens who don't understand
earthly humor may laugh during a company training film or tell jokes
that no one understands, said Steiger.
       4. Takes frequent sick days.   A space alien might need extra
time off to ``rejuvenate its energy,'' said Dr. Thomas Easton, a
theoretical biologist and futurist.
       5. Keeps a written or tape-recorded diary.   ``Aliens are
constantly gathering information,'' said Steiger.
       6. Misuses everyday items.   ``A space alien may use correction
fluid to paint its nails,'' said Steiger.
       7. Constant questioning about customs of co-workers.   Space
aliens who are trying to learn about earth culture might ask questions
that seem stupid, Easton said.
       ``For example, a co-worker may ask why so many Americans picnic
on the Fourth of July,'' noted Steiger.
       8. Secretive about personal life-style and home.   ``An alien
won't discuss details or talk about what it does at night or on
weekends,''
said Steiger.
       9. Frequently talks to himself.   ``A space alien may not be used to
speaking the way we do, so an alien may practice speaking,'' Steiger
noted.
       10. Displays a change of mood or physical reaction when near
certain high-tech hardware.   ``An alien may experience a mood change when
a microwave oven is turned on,'' said Steiger.   The experts pointed out
that a co-worker would have to display most if not all of these traits
before you can positively identify him as a space alien.