Automobile Acronyms

AUDI:
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

BMW:
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Waster
Big Money Works
Black man's wheels.
Bought My Wife
Break my windows,
Brutal Money Waster

BUICK:
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CHEVROLET:
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Car Has Expensive Valve Rattle on Long, Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cranks Hard, Every Valve Rattles.  Oil leaks Every Time.

DODGE:
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
Dead Or Dying Garage Equipment
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

EDSEL:
Every Day Something Else Leaks

FIAT:
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
Fix it again, Tony!
Fix It All the Time
Found In A Terror
Found In Any Tip
Found It At Tip

FERRARI:
Fast, Expressive Red Racing Auto - Rahrahrah Italia

FORD:
backwards --> Driver Returns On Foot
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Fault Of R&D
Features O.J. and Ron's DNA
First On Race Day
First on Race Day.
First On Recall Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix or Repair Daily
Fixed On Race Day
Fixed Or Repaired Daily
Fools Only Risk Driving
Ford Owners Root Dogs
Found on Reservation Dump
Found On Road, Dead
Found on Rubbish Dump
Fragile Old Rusty Deathtraps
Fragile Overpriced Rusty Deathtraps
Fubar On Race Day
Fucked on Race Day
Fucked Over Rebuilt Dodge
Full Of Rust & Defects

GM:
General Maintenance

GMC:
Garage Man's Companion
Generally Mediocre Cars
Got A Mechanic Coming?

HOLDEN:
Heap Of Loud Diff & Engine Noises
Heaps Of Little Dirty Engine Nuts
Heaps of Lumps, Dents, Engine Noises
Holes Oil Leaks Dents Engine Noises
Hope Our Luck Doesn't End Now
Horrible Old Limo Drives Extremely Nasty

HONDA:
Had One Never Did Again
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else

HYUNDAI:
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
How Your Usual Nerd Drives An Import

IPEC:
I Pass Every Cunt

JEEP:
Just Eats Every Part

MAZDA:
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

MITSUBISHI:
Miniature Imported Terribly Substandard Underpowered Boring  & Incredibly Second-rate Honda Imitation
Mostly In The Shop Undergoing Big Investments, Sometimes Halfway Incomplete

MOPAR:
Misc. Oddball Parts, Assembled Ridiculously
Move Over, Power Approaching Rapidly

NISSAN:
Nasty Immoral Salesmen Selling Automotive Nightmares

OLDSMOBILE:
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday.
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment

PINTO:
Put In Nickel To Operate

PONTIAC:
Product Only Needs To Imitate A Chevrolet
Puts Out Noxious Toxins In All Cities

PORSCHE:
Probably Obtained Recently, Since Carowner Hocked Everything

SAAB:
Send Another Automobile Back
Stick At Aircraft Building
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
Swedish Automobiles--Always Broken

TORANA:
Tons Of Rust And No Acceleration

TOYOTA:
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VOLVO:
Various Old Lady Victim Owners
Vehicle Of Longsighted Vacant Occupants
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Very Old Lame Vehicle Owners

VW:
Virtually Worthless