THE BOSS ASKED FOR A LETTER DESCRIBING BOB SMITH:

         Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
       hard at work in his cubicle.  Bob works independently, without
         wasting company time talking to colleagues.  Bob never
       thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
         finishes given assignments on time.  Often Bob takes extended
         measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
        breaks.  Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
         vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
         knowledge in his field.  I firmly believe that Bob can be
        classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
         dispensed with.  Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
         promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
        executed as soon as possible.

          Sd/-

          Project Leader

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         A MEMO WAS SOON SENT FOLLOWING THE LETTER:

          That idiot was reading over my shoulder while I wrote the
          report sent to you earlier today.  Kindly read only the odd
          numbered lines (1, 3, 5, ...) for my true assessment of him.

          Regards -

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Two atoms were having a drink in a pub when one atom suddenly said
"shit, I have lost an electron"
the other atom said "are you sure" and the first atom replied "yeah,
I`m fucking positive".