Back In The Old Days...

Who here remembers the old Saturday Night Live skit "Grumpy Old Man",
where Dana Carvey would reminisce about the old days, and how "In my day"
there weren't any of the "new fangled ways".

Well, here's what some "seniors" said about "their days"...


In my day, we didn't have mouses to move the cursor around. We only
had the arrows, and if the up arrow was broken and you needed to get to the
top of the screen, well, you just hit the left arrow a thousand times, dadgummit.
(Kevin Cuddihy, Fairfax)


In my day, we couldn't afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In the
winter we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction.
(Bill Flavin, Alexandria)


In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition
on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.
(Jon Patrick Smith, Washington)


In my day, we didn't have fancy high numbers. We had "nothing," "one,"
"twain" and "multitudes."
(Elden Carnahan, Laurel)


In my day, we didn't get that disembodied, slightly ticked-off voice
saying `Doors closing.' We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your
hand was sticking out it scraped along the tunnel all the darn way to the next
station.
(Russell Beland, Springfield)


In my day, we didn't have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback
barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could
outrun him.
(Sarah M. Wolford, Hanover)


Back in the 1970s we didn't have the space shuttle to get all excited
about. We had to settle for men walking on the crummy moon.
(Russell Beland, Springfield)


In my day, we didn't have days. There was only "time for work," "time
for prayer" and "time for sleep." The sheriff would go around and tell
everyone
when to change.
(Elden Carnahan, Laurel)


In my day, people could only dream of hitchhiking a ride on a comet.
(David Ronka, Charlottesville)


In my day, we didn't have fancy health-food restaurants. Every day we
ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes drenched in
melted fat from those animals. And we're all as strong as AAGGKK-GAAK Urrgh.
Thud.
(Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)


When I was your age, we didn't have fake doggie-do. We only had real
doggie-do, and no one thought it was a darn bit funny.
(Brendan Bassett, Columbia)


In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own
hydrogen and oxygen atoms.
(Diana Hugue, Bowie)


Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun
revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant
tortoise.
(Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)


In the old days, nobody asked you to sign petitions. The sheriff just
came to your house and told you you was part of a posse.
(Barry Blyveis, Columbia)


In my day, we didn't have dogs or cats. All I had was Silver Beauty,
my beloved paper clip.
(Jennifer Hart, Arlington)


In my day, we didn't have Strom Thurmond. Oh, wait. Yes we did ...
(Peg Sheeran, Vienna)