'Twas The Drink That Killed Him

Brenda O'Malley is home as usual, making dinner, when Tim Finnegan
arrives at her door.  "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've
somethin' to tell ya."


"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim.  But
where's my husband?"


That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda.  There was an
accident down at the Guiness brewery..."


"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda.  "Please don't tell me..."


"I must, Brenda," replied Tim. "Your husband Shamus is dead
and gone.  I'm sorry."


Brenda reached a hand out to her side, found the arm of the
rocking chair by the fireplace, pulled the chair to her and
collapsed into it.  She wept for many minutes. Finally she
looked up at Tim and asked how it happened.


"It was terrible, Brenda.  He fell into a vat of Guiness Stout
and drowned."


Oh my dear Jesus!  But you must tell me true, Tim.  Did he at least
go quickly?"


"Well, no Brenda......no."


"No?"


"Fact is, he got out three times to pee."