Where do pets come from?
It is reported that the following edition of the Book of Genesis was
discovered in the Dead Seal Scrolls. If authentic, it would shed light on
the question, "Where do pets come from?"
And Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me
everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is
difficult for me to remember how much you love me."
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will
be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that
you will know I love you, even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how
selfish and childish and unlovable you may be, this new companion will
accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a
good animal. And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail.
And Adam said, "But Lord, I have already named all the animals in the
Kingdom and all the good names are taken and I cannot think of a name for
this new animal."
And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to
be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own
name, and you will call him DOG."
And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And
Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged
his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the
Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and
preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has
indeed taught him that he is loved, but no one has taught him humility."
And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who
will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will
remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not worthy of
adoration."
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey
Adam.
And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not
the supreme being. And Adam learned humility.
And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved.
And Cat did not care one way or the other.
Asa
While anyone can admit to themselves they were wrong, the true test is
admission to someone else.
If God had intended Man to Smoke, He would have set him on Fire.
If you can't be good, be careful. If you can't be careful, give me a
call.
Think honk if you're a telepath.
Your life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret.
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange
protein -- it rejects it. --P. Medawar
Lieberman's Law: Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody
listens.
A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.
I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. --G.K. Chesterton