Son of York

     Henry the Plantationer was the Lord of the best flower plantation
in all the land, but he had lost his family's corner on the market of
fleur de lis (hard won by his father).

     This loss enraged his cousin Richard, a nasty, deformed, but clever
man who was lord of the fields of white roses, and who raised 400 pound
attack boars for a hobby.

     Henry's other cousins, who lorded over the fields of red roses
were merely annoyed. They felt that Henry was a good man. He was a quiet
visionary gentleman, with a good raport with the heavenly father.

     As time passed, Richard's fury grew, and he openly proclaimed
that he, not Henry should run the plantation. This of course caused many
bad feelings.

     These feelings came to a head one spring evening, when Henry
was hosting a fancy feast, with all of the local royalty attending
except (for obvious reasons) Richard.

     When this fest was in full swing, Richard burst in, with five of
his biggest most viscious attack boars. And they tore up the feast, and the
people turning it into a grotesque study of blood and flesh. When this was
done and only Richard and a few others were left alive, Gruesome Richard
proclaimed

"Now is the dinner of our wistful gent wrent gory assunder by this
  ton of pork !"

[A few people didn't get this one. The story draws from several Shakespeare
Histories and the saying from his Richard the Third, "Now is the winter of
our discontent made glorious summer by this Son of York."]