Musical Virus Warning

If someone tries to teach you a tune called "Join The Crew," cover your ears
and don't listen to them at all costs. This is not a traditional jig or
reel, but a Balkan Virus in 13/8 time whose deceptive counter-Celtic rhythms
will erase all tunes in your memory and the memory of anyone who hears it
and replace them with a random excerpt from "Your Pets Can Sing 2." Please
send this message to as many musicians as you can. This is a new virus and
is unknown to most people. There have been reports from at least 42 cities
worldwide of sessions that have been ravaged by this virus, and up to 300
former session musicians are now only able to look at their instruments
helplessly while saying "woof, oink, quack" in a vaguely musical manner.

Also, if you receive a tape or CD entitled "Penpal Greetings," throw it out
and DON'T LISTEN TO IT!!! This is a warning for all music lovers. The album
appears to be traditional in nature, but by the time you listen to it, it is
too late. The "Trojan Horse" virus will have infected the boot sector of
your CD or tape player. It is a self-replicating virus, and once the CD or
tape has been played, it will automatically attach itself to any other CD
or tape you play. The virus will overwrite all of your music and replace it
with a random 5 second excerpt from Snoop Doggy Dog's latest album, that
will repeat continuously for the length of the CD or tape. This virus can be
passed easily by simply lending a tape or CD to a friend, and has the
potential to completely destroy all the CDs and tapes in the world.