How to annoy people:

1. Leave the copy machine set to 999 copies, reduce 200%, extra dark, and
11x17 inch neon yellow paper loaded in all the paper trays.

2. In the memo field of all your checks write "for massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while
talking to others.

5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather
conditions "to keep them tuned up."

7. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what YOU think."

8. Practice making fax and modem noises.

9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to
your boss.

10. Make beeping noises when you back up.

11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."

12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your
ears.

13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across
the room.

14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist
to others you "like it that way."

16. Staple papers in the middle of the page, or anywhere along the right
edge of the page.

17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

18. Honk and wave to strangers.

19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat the complimentary
mints by the cash register.

20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.

21. type only in lowercase.

22. Don t use any punctuation either

23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?"
"What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your
chin. When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

27. Ask people what gender they are.

28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if
they slow down

30. Sing along at the opera.

31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers

in a notebook and utter something about "psychological profiles."

33. Tell your friends 5 days prior, that you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.

34. Send this email to everyone in your email address book even if they sent
it to you or asked you not to send things like this.