Hell
Bill Gates dies and finds himself being sized up by God...
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to
send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by
putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created
that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done
before.
I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."
Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between the two?"
God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, to see if
it
will help your decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?" Bill asked.
"I'll leave that up to you." God replied.
"Okay then," said Bill, "let's try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It had a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear
waters and lots of beautiful women running around, playing in the water,
laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature
perfect. He was very pleased. "This is great," he told God. "If this is
hell, I really want to see heaven."
"Fine," said God, and off they went. Heaven was a place high in the
clouds,
with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but
not as enticing as Hell.
Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision. "Hmmm. I
think
I'd prefer Hell," he told God.
"Fine," replied God, "as you desire."
So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how
he
was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall
screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by
demons, with no one to help him out of his dilemma no matter how loud he
screamed.
"How's everything going?" He asked Bill.
Bill responded with his voice filled with anguish and tormented
disappointment. "This is awful. This is nothing like the Hell I
visited
two weeks ago. I can't believe this is happening. What happened to
that
other place, with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the
water????"
"Oh," God said, "that was Hell 3.1. This is Hell 95.